When there lives nobody, you still have yourself

I'm back for now!

2008-06-02T12:26:00.008+08:00

I'm back again, for a short period I presume? I've been reading some past entries from my blog and I have a sudden urge to write. I wonder which kind soul still keep an eye on my blog. Please rise up your hand if you do!!

*Sees no one*

Oh well.

I must have been missing for about 2 months in preparation for my exam which is still on-going now. I miss my friends and the feeling of not doing anything and not feeling guilty for not studying right now but blogging! And of course, I've MIA for too long to start telling you how I've been for the past few months. Good News first: My exam will end this Wednesday, with 2 more papers to go (Tomorrow and Wednesday) and I am going Hong Kong next week! My initial intention is to visit Beijing and Hong Kong but the plan was dropped and changed to Hong Kong.

Bad News. My grandmother has passed away on 24th May 2008. This, to me is an unexplainable and indescribable pain. I've not lost anyone since the death of my grandfather when I was little. I do not know how to express this feeling and I'm afraid to admit it. You may say I am still a little in denial; It is indeed difficult to face the lost. It happened too fast and too sudden. It has never crossed my mind that it will happen so soon and yes, it is hard to believe she is not around anymore. I thank all of you who has come by my ah ma's funeral.

Ah ma, rest in peace.

I am indeed a glutton. MMmmm

2007-08-14T22:42:00.000+08:00

It was a simple meet up with Jerome last evening. A long catch up over dinner and we were on the way home. I couldn't really walk much with my injured knees and he had some projects on hand to complete. My knees are getting better now though; I am able to walk faster but still kinda difficult to climb stairs. I rubbed my blue-black with Zam-Buk and I think it might be the reason it's recovering! Hee.

I had always been crazy and gila over mooncakes so imagine my excitedness when I will be able to eat my favourite mooncakes soon! Don't say I never share; DBS card is having a few promotion for some mooncakes from 17th August I guess, so... yeah I'm gonna stuff my face with mooncakes!! I think my size is going to take the shape of the mooncake too. Thank God I prefer the 8 pieces size.

There was a tea break today at 4pm and all of us were gathering in my boss' room munching some sugar rolls and they were gossiping about some interesting insurance brokers they have encountered. There will be a training session with all the brokers next week and there's 1 particular lady (I don't think she's a broker herself though) that I am very interested to pay attention to. I was told that she ONLY button up the last button of her shirt and she wears plainly a bra inside. Yes, try picturing it. Call me a psycho, but it's puzzling me what kind of bra she shall display. How I wish I could post up a picture of her next week. Ha! Wistful thinking :P It's just a wonder how somebody could wear that to work.

I pray that my colleagues aren't exaggerating.

Second last note to this entry: Does Anybody know if Singapore has Nando Chickens???? I saw an indian man carrying it's plastic bag boarding the train at Farrer Park. I'm longing for some Nandos! I wish he is not just simply carrying Nando's plastic bag. Bahahahaa. What a fool I am.

Last note to this entry: Oh right, you know what? The Florida's Natural Au'some Fruit Juice Nuggets is way tasty. It's my favourite sweet at the moment and it taste just like the fruit itself (Well, almost). Try it and you'll love it!

I am a clumsy girl

2007-08-13T22:44:00.001+08:00

I did not work today because I had fallen down on my knees on my way to work. I am feeling clumsy because I am 23 and yet I still fall on my knees?! I would have thought the wounds would bleed profusely initially, but it later turned out to be better than I thought. Little blood but full patch of blue-black (if you know what I mean). There are 2 big wounds on each knee so that makes 4 wounds altogether. I would think my wound looks kind of gross so I shall leave out on further details and pictures.

On a happier note, I missed work but I am home to receive my handphone when it was delivered to my home this morning! I am glad to have a new phone for work tomorrow! And I am meeting Jerome (finally!) after work as well. He's my best best best friend and I hasn't met up with him since my Aussie trip. Sure looking forward to tomorrow~ :)

I had been thinking a fair bit for the past few months and I think numbness has hit me (at last). I am calm and feel no anger nor disappointment for all that I read, accused (or not). I am feeling sad though, for the numbness I am experiencing because it could spell G-A-M-E O-V-E-R. People come and go. This is what Adrian taught me. It is cruel but truth hurts. Like all, I am trying to walk away without shame, and properly regrets. I am almost glad that this drama could finally come to an end.

I wrote this some 4 years back to express my inner thoughts. There is no title for it though. Here you go:

Am I thinking too much
Or am I thinking too few
In a world of only me and you
I wonder how it feels
To have me breathing down the hill
Without a hint of air
That you were once here

Sometimes it seems
Sometimes it not
I do not care not
Yeah that is a surface I had formed

So I am proud
I am not
So I am pretending
I gave a nod
So I acted strong
But why not?

Strong in a city of fakes
Pretend in a world of hypocrites
Proud in a society of materialistic
A global concern for human think

And here I am
Not pretending
Not acting
To be a real person
To prove my own

It's nothing fantastic and I don't know if you could call it a poem, or some notes I scribbled.

What surprises me is the power of how my thoughts 4 years back could still have an impact on me now.

Happy National Day!

2007-08-09T23:06:00.000+08:00

I better blog on this special day before it ends. I wonder if how many of you guys actually catch the Live parade today. I would like to think you are undoubtedly lucky this year because of the REAL limited seats available. As for myself, I only managed to check out the fireworks at Marina Square with the masses. In fact, I caught the preview fireworks and I wonder why I am still hanging around at City Hall area today. It was almost difficult to reach home because of the crowd and we had to make a tour to Bugis to avoid the party of people.

Tomorrow is Monica's last day at work and I am feeling pretty sad about it as I am short of 1 lunch kaki. My colleagues love to lunch in and they eat soooooooo wayyyy tooooo much little that I believe at the end of my assignment I would have slim down if I have lunch with them almost everyday. It is not a bad thing seeing that I have gained a lilliputian amount of weight.

The thing is, this is how they eat:
A eats a few mouthful of rice.
A exclaims: Oh I am SO full.

And this is what I will do.
*looks up from my rice*
*shocked*

Really, it can be a torture if you are feeling damn hungry and hate to waste food.

And my entire office eat that way.

Save me!

Have I mentioned? My new handphone is going to be delivered on coming Monday morning! Coolness, I am going to have a new mobile!! I noted that my ringing tone has been changed to some English songs. I hope it's free though. I didn't request for any Bye-bye-ringtone. Haha~

I Hate Cramps.!

2007-08-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

This hasn't been a perfect weekend for myself. I am down with cramps today and this is a stay-home-with-painful-cramps-Saturday. Fine fine.

I was out with Monica yesterday evening in search of her dress for her friend's ROM and she has finally bought... Not 1, but 2 dresses! I adore dress and I have a kick to get one for myself too. Maybe I will, on National Day where there'll be sales. Yippee!

Not forgetting to mention, I have been on a lookout for a handphone because I can foresee my current phone will not last me for the coming months. I have decided! I will be getting W660i. Yes, I will. In the next week or so. Yes I will make use of the National Day promotion to get myself a new phone. I will.

Did I mention about Ikoi? It's a Japanese buffet at Miramar Hotel and my boyfriend had been pestering me to book a seat with them for a few days. I finally called them on one evening and it turned out that... We need to wait for at least 3 weeks for a counter seat (Note weekend) and 5 weeks for a non-counter (Note table) seat. How exaggerating is that?! Yup, we managed to get a counter seat on 18th August and mind you, we called them on 1st August. Hahahahaha. It's nuts. Singaporeans totally dig Japanese food!

Shop and Eat!

2007-07-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

I dined at Basil Alcove located at Fortune Center tonight and this place is pretty highly recommended by a food blogger, and thus the visit. I've been wondering how am I to classify this place; it is not a restaurant, but something better than a cafe. If you're wondering, they are located beside the road but the atmosphere make it somewhat a different world from the busy traffic. It must be the candlelight on my table. My baby and I ordered half a dozen mussels, smoked duck, 2 pastas and 2 drinks which rounds up to around $28. Fairly reasonable if you ask me. I thought my bacon and mushrooms aglio that cost $5.50 tastes good, and not forgetting the half dozen mussels priced at $4.80 is enjoyable. I have taken some photos with my handphone again and yes, I do take ugly pictures. I decide against to post the pictures because I thought that will not do the food any justice.

I did a little shopping after dinner at Bugis Village and bought a little dress for $24. I am feeling pleased for making a purchase after months of window shopping. You never know how I feel. It's a cheap thrill. Haha! Bugis Village, I realised, is a good place to shop during weekdays because they are not overcrowded and the place do sell some nice clothes. My eyes fall on a shop that sells fake Little Miss tees and I am lost for a second. I am nuts about Little Miss and I sometimes wish I could just collect all the Little Miss. The Junkfood brand sells Little Miss at $49.90 and that's way a little too expensive for a tee. Really, I love Little Miss. Got this in red from a mall in Aussie.

Check out this Accessories blog. They sell original and undoubtedly beauteous earrings, necklaces and bag charms.

It's Friday (again)! I am not looking forward because I will be having classes on Friday night and Saturday afternoon.

In this age, it's survival of the fittest.

Stop the drama!

2007-07-23T23:02:00.000+08:00

Monday blues! It's a long day for me, what with class after work. My mum just came back from her trip to Malaysia and brought back some tidbits which doesn't very much interest me, but I think i will still enjoy it cause I am a "glutton"! Hah! She has offered to buy me a new handphone because I have been using mine for almost 2 years and recently it spell signs of aging. I am eyeing a Sony Ericsson W660i in Rose Red (3G), or Sony Ericsson S500i. The latter is cheaper but I would prefer the former mentioned but I might not buy at all since I am a fickle person and I would want to pay for my own stuff if possible. It all falls on how desperate I am and the aging process of my mobile.

W660i

I am feeling rather sick as I've been notified that there will be 2 tutorials this coming Saturday from 2pm to 5.15pm. This is only the 2nd week of school! So much for R&R during weekends!

I never thought about blogging about this because they are considered personal to myself, but I am somewhat disappointed in me lately. I have failed to control my anger toward something I've read over the weekend. As I have always preached, anger causes toxic chemicals in the body. I think in life you are bumped to encounter different types of people and it is not possible to expect understanding from everybody and for those who does, you're lucky to have met them. I consider them to be people I treasure and love. I admit it was excruciatingly disappointing originally but you get used to it and it all turns to anger and finally numbness. I am still at the phase of getting disappointed and furious but I believe it will all soon turn into numbness. I only believe in fighting for the things I think are worthy of. Why should you have such high expectation of your friends when you might not be giving anything in return? I would think this "friendship" thing is too pressurizing for me and I would like to feel that I have tried to do my part and I am fine with appreciation and thanks do not goes to me because it doesn't matter who gets the appreciation as long as we enjoyed ourselves. Sadly, not everybody have the same thought.

People change.

I am so over and through with this whole drama.

I LOVE SEAFOOD!

2007-07-22T21:47:00.000+08:00

I finally have my dream come true this weekend at Vivocity; I had finally devour the chili crab at No Signboard Seafood. A pity my camera died on me so I wasn't able to take clear pictures, and I do not mean the battery died on me. It is the camera lens and LCD screen this time round. I am feeling kinda helpless at the moment because it chose to gave up on me at my most financially unstable phase. Any hows, I did take some pictures of the food with my handphone.

Some sambal kang kong to start with. It's really tasty but I think I am bias because it's much expensive here. Hah!

I don't think it's clear enough but it's cereal prawns if you're wondering. It's heavenly and trust me when I say it is one of the nicest I've had so far.

And finally, here comes my king! The.. Crab. Look at the buns at the side? They're truly SMALL.

It's pretty big and fresh and DIVINE.

I would think the total damage wasn't exactly, well, damaging (I don't think my boyfriend thinks so though). We were bloated and the crab cost $35 per kg which we both agreed it's pretty reasonable.

It's truly a remarkable evening. Nothing beats good food and great company.

Bubbles Bubbles!

2007-07-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

I guess I am starting to enjoy my job even though I am damn busy. I've been enjoying free lunches from my colleagues from last Thursday to yesterday. Yes, I'm lucky cause they are farewells and welcomes for me and another new colleague.

I wore a pair of kitten heels to work this morning and I returned home this evening with 2 big bubbles on both my little toes. My mum used needle to burst them and one of it grew back. My mum said it's as big as half the globe. Haha, I'm glad she could fathom how I was feeling. I was pretty freaked out actually. It was huge and round and poking out of my toe. It's gross. I wish I had taken a photo then. I refuse to surrender to fate that I am not destined to wear heels and covered shoes. I love shoes but they hate me. It's a love and hate thing, trust me. Flip flop is my best friend.

Tonight's an interesting evening. Friendster is really a good thing, especially for friends that I do not often keep in touch with for months or even years! I've seen their profiles and how they've moved on with their lives, or not moved on, get attached or even appear on television. Haha! It's a weird feeling.

Oh right, I forgot to post the picture of the flower yesterday.

Not exactly a big bouquet, but it's filled with love and warmth. Love it.

School starts today!

2007-07-16T22:47:00.000+08:00

Life's full of ups and downs and I experienced it over the weekend.

We went AMK Hub on Saturday to catch Harry Potter. In order to avoid the long queue at Cathay, I've decided to collect my ticket through the machine but my card was eaten up. Mind you, it is an UOB Mini card. You share my sentiment; What was I thinking?! The staff at Cathay was helpful enough to help retrieve my card without cursing out loud. My stomach was screaming for food by the time we collect our tickets through the ticket counter and we decided to lunch at Pepper Lunch with 30mins to spare before the movie starts. A near 10mins wait later, we were informed that there was an electric trip and there was no promise on the waiting time. Just so you know, a hungry man is an angry man; we were slightly late for the movie. Dinner was at Botak Jones and I thought it was overrated. It was a ridiculous day.

Thankfully Sunday was brilliant. Had dinner with Shiyi and Terence Tan Delun (he has a few names :P) at Brewerkz for my late birthday celebration. It was a lovely surprise when I was given flowers because I told them I only need a makan treat. We were going through a rough patch in our friendship at the moment and they have reassured through actions and words that they care and love me. I'm not going to go into details but it is in times like this when you realise your true friends; people who stood by you and believe in you. Birthdays were always a gathering for all of us but I've decided to stick to just 3 of us this time round. I think it's about quality, not quantity.

We were alittle insane taking weird photos and here's ONE brief insight of what's going on that day.

This is one of the many we took before our cameras found us too gross and was out of battery.

There, I said one :)

Oh yes, class starts today and I fall asleep in Corporate Finance class.

Good job.

#%^%$^*^%*&(&*

My first day at work

2007-07-11T22:04:00.000+08:00

I am dead tired but I am still blogging. Today is my first day of work as a temp admin for a minimum of 4 months and I couldn't stand it on my first day. There are too many things to learn in 3 days and I almost feel cheated in joining. I hope I can endure... :(

Geek (Shuping) mentioned in her blog of her difficulty to obtain a degree due to her family issues. I totally feel for her because I was facing a similar situation. The irony? I paid for my own school fees and living expenses. I guess life is just unfair. Some people have parents supporting their full-time studies while some have to support their own studies and might not gain understanding from their loved ones. I think my issues were solved for now and it kinda heal my soul thinking there are friends facing the same problem as I did.

At least I wasn't alone.

Answer the Call

2007-07-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Today is another tiring day. Me and baby made our way to the Jurong Swimming Complex for a little water splashing and it was water splashing indeed. We were there for a mere 3 hours but we were beat after. I'm not worrying. I know I'm aging.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Supposed to meet the guys at Brewerkz today but really, I'm worn-out. Well at least I'm able to catch Live Earth now and I thought it's a brilliant idea to increase awareness of Global Warming. I wish it is not too late.

My record-breaking interview

2007-07-06T15:36:00.000+08:00

Guess what? Looks like I am back to job hunting once again. Who would have thought that the nicely planned job hunting mission today would be ruined by a 2 hour interview?? The 2nd interview was supposed to be held at 11am but the 1st interview ended at 11.45am. Definitely broke my record. Hope it break yours too.

The thing is, I gave UOB Bank a pass and hopefully I am able to secure the other job with the shorter interview. I'm up at 7.30am and I'm bushed. My back is aching from sitting upright during the interviews and is yearning to slouch. I'm slouching now anyway. Maybe I declared my luckiness far too early yesterday night.

It's not entirely a bad day, at least I managed to have lunch with Dear Monica again at Raffles Place. At best I do not have to lunch by myself or wonder around on my own while waiting for my rescheduled 2nd interview.

Though I'm exasperated from all walking and travelling, I'm meeting my baby later. Today shall end in a nice way, wouldn't it? :)

Feeling happy and lucky

2007-07-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

Got a birthday treat from Monica today when I met up with her for a dinner at Swensens. What a sweet lady and I always love to meet up with her because we share the same taste in clothes and topic. Thanks for the dinner gal!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well, it turns out that I did not attend any interview today because my consultant called me last evening and I got a temp job at UOB Bank and this job requires no interview! Just what I like, hence I cancelled all the interviews and I was supposed to sign the contract this evening.

I was feeling happy that I finally got a job. Temp or perm, I just need some money to tide through this period. HOWEVER! The consultant called again today and told me not to sign yet as I am shortlisted for an interview for a perm job at Suntec tomorrow morning and they are allowing me to choose between the perm job and temp job. The choice is apparent but just in case they did not select me, the vacancy in UOB Bank is still open for me till tomorrow noon. And as if the Suntec perm job is not enough, I was shortlisted for another contract job in Raffles Place. Now I am feeling lucky and happy at the same time. No matter who reject or select me, I know I will land myself a job.

All I need now is some luck that I will secure one of the job I'm going for interview later in the morning.

Durian Durian

2007-07-04T11:17:00.000+08:00

I just celebrated my 23rd birthday a few days back and I must say that it is not at all happening, but one of the sweetest birthdays ever. That's a picture of my birthday cake from my baby. I did not manage to take a snap of the birthday cake itself, so this is taken off from the net. I am elated at the sight of the durian cake because *ahem* this is what I requested. Haha! Geez, it tastes just like a durian with solid pulp. Woot.

I will be going for an interview later in the evening and 3 interviews are awaiting me tomorrow. I am feeling draggy about it; I need a job and the money but I dread the interview. It feels like you have to sell yourself and repeat the same thing over and over again, and you might not get selected afterall. My worst nightmare of attending an interview is getting lost. I always get lost in finding the location of the company and I hate to end up being almost-late and looking shaggy. I guess I am in no position to be fussy because I am indeed financially tight; I have another school fees due in August!! And if that's not bad enough, I sensed that Stansfield is getting smart. They have increased the penalty for a late payment from $50 to $150. I think they are out to get poor students like me! :( Despite paying the entire school fees for my 2nd year and graduating in mid 2008, I have yet to receive my student card. Haha! Well, there you go :p

I am somewhat anticipating school this year because I will be classmate with my baby for 2 classes and isn't that a good thing to look forward to?! :d Hopefully I can be more asipred to be diligent this time round. A passing grade of 34 truely turns out to have killer paper. And yes, endure and endure for another year and I will be a free person once again. Cheers to that!

The ball starts rolling

2007-07-04T11:05:00.000+08:00

I have always wanted to blog but was too lazy to 'design' it, and I can't decide how 'personal' I want to get on my public blog. I personally feel that bloggers do have social responsibility, afterall people are reading. I would not want to cause any misunderstandings or unhappiness in those who are reading my blog.

This is my first entry, so welcome :)