I am a clumsy girl

I did not work today because I had fallen down on my knees on my way to work. I am feeling clumsy because I am 23 and yet I still fall on my knees?! I would have thought the wounds would bleed profusely initially, but it later turned out to be better than I thought. Little blood but full patch of blue-black (if you know what I mean). There are 2 big wounds on each knee so that makes 4 wounds altogether. I would think my wound looks kind of gross so I shall leave out on further details and pictures.

On a happier note, I missed work but I am home to receive my handphone when it was delivered to my home this morning! I am glad to have a new phone for work tomorrow! And I am meeting Jerome (finally!) after work as well. He's my best best best friend and I hasn't met up with him since my Aussie trip. Sure looking forward to tomorrow~ :)

I had been thinking a fair bit for the past few months and I think numbness has hit me (at last). I am calm and feel no anger nor disappointment for all that I read, accused (or not). I am feeling sad though, for the numbness I am experiencing because it could spell G-A-M-E O-V-E-R. People come and go. This is what Adrian taught me. It is cruel but truth hurts. Like all, I am trying to walk away without shame, and properly regrets. I am almost glad that this drama could finally come to an end.

I wrote this some 4 years back to express my inner thoughts. There is no title for it though. Here you go:


Am I thinking too much
Or am I thinking too few
In a world of only me and you
I wonder how it feels
To have me breathing down the hill
Without a hint of air
That you were once here

Sometimes it seems
Sometimes it not
I do not care not
Yeah that is a surface I had formed

So I am proud
I am not
So I am pretending
I gave a nod
So I acted strong
But why not?

Strong in a city of fakes
Pretend in a world of hypocrites
Proud in a society of materialistic
A global concern for human think

And here I am
Not pretending
Not acting
To be a real person
To prove my own


It's nothing fantastic and I don't know if you could call it a poem, or some notes I scribbled.

What surprises me is the power of how my thoughts 4 years back could still have an impact on me now.